[Love Wants Sexual Blessing Series 316]Both parties pay together and devote themselves to sexual happiness. Marriage needs to satisfy each other

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Transcript: Liang Yingxiu

(Kuala Lumpur News) Whether a person’s sexual life is happy or not, there is a gap or difference in the expectations of men and women. For men, he believes that as long as the woman does not refuse, can cooperate with sex, and I can have an orgasm when she has an orgasm, it means that the sex life is very happy. This is an expectation that values ​​​​the physiological level.

But this is not the case for the woman. She thinks, can I feel the care and care given by the other party? Does he have frequent contact with his love language and body? Can I feel love and not vent during sex? These are the evaluation points of whether the sex life is happy; therefore, women will put more expectations psychologically.

self-assessment of quality of life

Sex consultant Wu Qiming pointed out that we don’t need to evaluate how many times we have sex in a week or a month, how many times we reach orgasm in the process, etc., is the so-called sexual happiness or non-sexual happiness.

“Happiness is not just about reaching orgasms,

but encompasses intimacy beyond behavior,

Including the usual verbal or non-verbal expressions,

Is there any positive interactive communication between husband and wife?

Will they care about each other’s sexual needs and desires?

Only in this way can the satisfaction and pleasure of orgasm be achieved. “

“To use an analogy, if the two parties usually hold hands, love words, hug, kiss or touch sexual intercourse, etc., and all related sexual behaviors, in fact, such an intimate relationship should not be too bad, and their sex life can be improved to a higher level. “

“Happiness is that you can satisfy me, and I can satisfy you; and in terms of physical and psychological care, as long as one party lacks dedication and commitment, lacks understanding of sexual knowledge, or adopts a negative attitude towards sexual love, it will be difficult for both parties to achieve sexual life.” satisfaction.”

In order to move towards a better sex life, he suggested that both parties first self-assess whether they are satisfied with the current quality of sex life, and does the other party feel the same way? If you’ve never talked to the other person before, it’s really hard to talk about it, and you don’t know how to start talking.

He also reminded that the expression is not for criticism, let alone to blame who has problems, but we must remember that the intention expressed is to hope that each other can still have a better sex life satisfaction!

From intimacy to sex

So what can both parties do? Find the right time and place, and ask yourself and your partner: “Are you satisfied with our current sex life?” You can divide this question into two aspects of “sex” and “love”, and start sharing and communicating. There must always be one party who takes the initiative first. If the other party is not good at sharing, then first lower the expectations and take the initiative to share feelings and ideas.

He suggested that you can start talking about the intimacy of the relationship, and then talk about the issue of each other’s sex life. Both parties can find out the problem first, and then think about how to improve the satisfaction of each other’s intimacy. The most important thing is that this problem requires two people to work hard together, not just one person working hard.

Then talk about each other’s desires are not satisfied? For example, you can take the initiative to share your discoveries: “Actually, I also found that you are not very satisfied. I don’t feel very strong when I see you. In fact, I am not very satisfied; because I also feel that you don’t like it very much, and then just cooperate with me. That’s all, so the point is that we think about it together, how we can improve each other’s satisfaction and let each other enjoy it more!”

Psychological factors account for the majority of sexual life quality decline

Many people often ask: “Why does the quality of two people’s sex life seem to decline instead of getting better and better?”

Wu Qiming said that this is because the two people’s familiarity with the way of getting along and each other’s bodies has increased, and it seems to be a natural phenomenon.

Physical function declines with age

He said, in fact, speaking out is not to make everyone feel helpless and want to give up, but to accept the psychological preparation of this phenomenon, and at the same time keep warm, and even want to change their minds.

“Psychological factors are actually unavoidable, because the older you get, the less time you have for sex, including impotence, premature diarrhea, painful intercourse, lack of sexual interest, etc., the so-called frigidity , it will start to trouble both parties, all these factors add up, and the longer the sex life, the quality will not be the good feeling at the beginning.”

In the end physiological factors? Or psychological factors? Which is the main one? Wu Qiming said that psychological factors account for the majority of the reasons for the decline in the quality of sex life, and the main reason is conflict and indifference in relationships.

“If the intimate relationship between two people is good, even if there are physical problems, such as bodily functions, they will gradually degenerate with age, but the quality of sexual life can actually be maintained, and there may even be some Conditions for improvement. For example, when a man is around 31 to 40 years old, his sexual function begins to decline. Because of the gradual aging and aging, his ability and performance will decline, but his control is enhanced. Yes, he can actually satisfy women’s sexual requirements better. For women of this age, her sexual desire is increased, so she begins to break through some psychological barriers, and she will understand her body better and know how to Satisfied to climax, more experienced, more considerate and satisfying to the other party.”

That is to say, physiological factors are influential, but in fact psychological factors are the main cause of influence.

He said that if each other is satisfied with the relationship, the level of sexual satisfaction will affect each other; if the relationship is more satisfied, the two people usually have interaction and intimacy, and the satisfaction in sexual life will be better.

“If both parties are not satisfied with the intimate relationship, the sex life will naturally not be much better. Not many people are willing to face up to this problem, but take this situation for granted. But if they do not face up to it, the sex life will only be It will become less and less.”

Older people have sex to be healthy

He reminded that everyone must know that, in fact, the elderly still need to have sex, and the physical and mental state is healthy; it is not that the older you are, the less you don’t need sex.

“I found that many people are angry at each other because they have less sex life, or live a low-quality family life, and are often rejected sexual requests. In fact, not many people find out where the crux of the problem is, and they start to think wildly or constantly. Self nonsense, such as “Does she dislike me for being too old? Physical strength and sexual ability are no longer good? Am I not attractive in appearance and figure? Does the other party have a new love outside?” The last two are the majority Women will imagine in this direction.

“Actually, I would say that men are more accepting of changes in women’s lack of sexual desire, and think that women will not want sex when they reach menopause or get older. But women are less able to accept the situation of men without sexual desire.”

Because the quality of sex life declines, there will naturally be no desire to “do it”. This is a test for both parties. Therefore, in fact, men and women have different ups and downs in terms of love and sexual desire.

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