【Doctors talk freely.Guanxinji】The last journey

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If you live very old, your physical strength is not as good as before, and you are seriously ill, do you still need to receive treatment? As children, if the elderly person no longer cares about the world, should we insist on sending her to the hospital?

Keep your mouth shut and refuse to take the medicine

My mother-in-law was over 90 years old before she passed away. She experienced cancer twice. Her strong will to survive and the most advanced medical technology at the time allowed her to survive the difficulties without any danger.

I am her only son-in-law. She treats me as her own son and loves me very much. She is also one of the noble people in my life. When I was working as a medical officer in a government hospital, I was transferred to other states several times. She repeatedly took me to meet with state legislators and asked me to continue working in Northern Malaysia on the grounds of taking care of my family. As a result, I was able to learn from many mentors and friends at Penang General Hospital.

After I had passed the diploma in internal medicine, I should have been able to enter the cardiology department based on seniority, but due to some political reasons I was not admitted to the government cardiology department. My mother-in-law was worried about me and contacted my niece who was a dentist in a neighboring country. The good news she got was that the National Heart Center in Singapore was short of junior specialists. After applying, I was naturally accepted to train and work in a neighboring country.

When she got cancer for the second time, I happened to be serving in New Zealand. Through my relationship, she received the latest treatment at the National Cancer Center in Singapore and recovered for more than 20 years.

After I returned to Penang to work in a private hospital, my mother-in-law was originally very happy, but her father-in-law was old and seriously ill, and she worked hard to take care of him. Her joy was gradually replaced by worry.

After my father-in-law passed away, we tried our best to accompany her and take her around the world. I vaguely remember her saying this: “I never imagined that at this age, I could go to Africa to see wild animals!”

Since I fell down and broke my pelvis, I started to have difficulty moving. After several serious illnesses, he needed to be hospitalized for treatment. She considers herself to be seventy years old, why should she continue to maintain this stinky skin? She once said to my wife: “If you get sick again, don’t send me to the hospital!”

Before this Lunar New Year, our family had an early reunion dinner. She seemed to be in good health at the time, so I only took my wife and daughter on a short trip to Vietnam. Unexpectedly, the maid called us on New Year’s Eve and told us that our mother-in-law was not very conscious. She slept most of the time and the portions she ate were also decreasing.

On the morning of the first day of junior high school, we arranged for an ambulance to come to our home, hoping to take her to the hospital to receive treatment from my colleagues first, and then I would take over the treatment when I returned the next day. Unexpectedly, she firmly objected in front of the ambulance and refused to get in the car and go to the hospital.

At noon on the second day of the second grade, we all went home and hurried to find her. Seeing her exhausted appearance, she looked completely different from her usual self. I asked her to go to the hospital for examination three times, but she shook her head three times and objected. We tried to use medicine to relieve her pain, but she closed her mouth tightly and refused to take it.

decided to obey her will

Since I had saved patients with cardiac arrest many times, and learned from their mouths about out-of-body experiences and the reality of life after death, I decided to follow her wishes. The skin bag has rotted, so why not replace it with a new one! Although she does not understand Buddhism deeply, she is very clear about the reincarnation of three lives. Even so, now that I am facing separation between life and death, I can’t help but feel sad in my heart.

Seeing us around her, she obviously became calmer, and passed away two days later. Her joints, which had been inflamed and painful before she passed away, returned to normal for a while. She had a peaceful face, and her relatives and friends who saw her body knew that she passed away peacefully.

Going back to my original question, if you are old and sick and your body is not worth cherishing, then let go of this burden! As children, if the elderly person is determined to leave, perhaps we should not let her continue to work hard.

Postscript: When my wife was sorting out her mother-in-law’s belongings, she found my business card in the cabinet where she placed her most valuable items. When I found out, I had a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes.

(Guangming Daily/Doctor Column‧Author: Chen Changci)

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