People often focus the “sex” part on physical interaction, but rarely use verbal interaction.
In fact, why is foreplay so important during sex? Especially for women, the warm-up is the highest point where the sexual response of both parties reaches the same level.
(Kuala Lumpur News) Many men often mistakenly believe that foreplay during sex starts with the body and is nothing more than teasing. However, they often overlook that if the lack of language is like the lack of some power, how can we make the atmosphere of sex happy?
When a person is happy, the body is relaxed; the mind is the same. As for the language part, you need some skills and techniques to say some sweet words to make the other party feel relaxed.
Don’t talk about life’s daily necessities
Sex counselor Wu Qiming encourages everyone to try to imagine that in addition to sexual actions, you can also try to use words to make your partner feel happy. “You really need to be with me at the moment; if you can do this, you can be considered a sex master, because not only do you use your body, but you also use language to tease, such as telling some jokes, all with the purpose of creating an atmosphere. , It’s not directed at certain things or the other person, but it’s really just to create an atmosphere.”
He pointed out that the key to verbal teasing is to forget all reality and not bring the daily necessities or unhappy parts of life to bed to discuss or communicate. For example, during sex, you can say to the other person: “Even if we are old, in my heart you are still different from others!” Or you can not make the other person’s body a subject, in short, just say more things that you would not normally do. Sweet words spoken, these are great ways to communicate.
“If a man uses words to tease a woman during sex to make her feel excited, but then suddenly brings up financial or child issues, causing the atmosphere to completely cool down, it may make her angry, so words are very powerful.”
Some people may say: “These provocative words are only used by couples who are just beginning to make love. How can an old couple say such words after being together for ten or twenty years?”
Language guides sexual rhythm
He said that most people usually don’t talk easily because the two have been together for a long time, but occasionally they can feel each other’s eyes suddenly light up. “Words are magical. Don’t think that after twenty or thirty years of speaking, these words have no power. As long as the feeling of attracting each other is still there; when the feeling is right and each other is comfortable and relaxed, you will naturally want to kiss and kiss. Have sex.”
What else do partners typically talk about during sex? He pointed out that some people swear, but these swear words are to excite the other person and add to the fun. Especially in European and American movies, men and women use swear words when they are “sexually excited”, but they are not really scolding each other, but Because I was very excited and happy, I uttered those words naturally.
“Dirty words have an aphrodisiac effect, and most people don’t dare to say them.
But saying it during sex really makes a difference.
Language can also guide the rhythm of sex,
It doesn’t have to be touching to lead to the sexual stage.
I think it would be great if the two sides can interact and cooperate.
In addition, during the process, you can also call the other person’s name or nickname that they like and find funny.
Or the other person’s last name. “
Guide the other party to interact in a timely manner
“I think these can help to heat up the atmosphere, and it is not only one person who keeps talking and arouses the other party’s echo that can arouse the excitement of both parties. One person sings a one-man show, but there is no feeling; one must guide the other party in a timely manner and give some Interactions, such as seeing that the other person’s expression is not right, and saying, ‘How is it? Did I hurt you?’ These are very caring and considerate topics, and both parties must have consensus.”
Sex is about forgetting reality, not necessarily about having children, sex is about bringing pleasure to both parties and enhancing each other’s emotional relationship.
Carefully coordinate and establish tacit understanding
Adding points to sex is a lifelong lesson
People often ask Wu Qiming, “I love my husband/wife very much, but why do I feel nothing every time I have sex with him/her?”
Have you ever wondered why this happens?
The balance between love and sex life is a very important issue in the relationship between men and women. It is not that as long as there is love, the sex part can be let go, or that only the sex part is emphasized and the feeling of love is forgotten.
Wu Qiming emphasized that both must be present in order to have the so-called “balance of body, mind, and spirit.”
Sex no matter morning or night
First, when starting skin-to-skin contact, are the physical contact with each other coordinated?
When falling in love, each other starts with the physical body, and then proceeds step by step, from holding hands, starting to kiss to touching, and the sequence goes on to skin to skin, and there is a tacit understanding between each other. Whatever you want at this stage, the other party may agree to it.
But if at this time, you only stimulate the other party’s key sensitive areas, it is actually wrong, because the female partner usually doesn’t like it very much. The key point is to start with it. Think about it from another person’s perspective, if she did this to you, what would you think? Maybe you feel that your female partner is very needy, so you can skip the foreplay part directly. This is the part that men misunderstand.
“When it comes to pleasing each other, especially the coordination between skin, you need to put in more effort and attentiveness. You can’t just want it. How you have sex with each other to achieve mutual satisfaction is the most important thing.”
Second, the time when you want sex is different, which is also the reason for the incoordination.
If the rhythm of life between each other is the same, it will be easier to grasp the time when you want to have sex, and it will be easier to cooperate. But if one is a night owl and the other has to go to work during the day, no matter who is very eager at this time, the other may not have the energy or want to sleep, so there is no way to have a good intimacy.
In particular, don’t think that you can only have sex at night. This is a myth. No matter in the morning or in the evening, when “sexuality” comes, both parties have the desire to have sex. What’s the problem with morning, afternoon and evening?
Third, each other’s different needs for sex will cause coordination problems between the two.
For example, some people want to be fast; others want to be slow; some people have a personality that can’t let go of some things, so they want to complete them quickly, but they can’t be very involved and enjoy them.
He gave an example: When the husband is in a good mood and wants to spend some time loving his wife, he wants to tease her a little more during the foreplay part; but the wife is in a hurry today and keeps urging her to finish it quickly, so there is a gap between the two parties. frustration.
“The speed and frequency of both parties are different, so there is no way to engage in and enjoy the fun, which will affect the sexual coordination between the couple. Therefore, there are definitely many questions to discuss, where and why is it not coordinated? Why does the other party not feel it? What if? Between husband and wife, if there is still pleasure during sex, it means that the relationship between the two is okay, the coordination is good, and they are quite compatible. Otherwise, it is just the opposite.”
Becoming tired after being together for a long time
He said, especially don’t think that if you feel married or have sex for a long time, you will naturally stop having sex, or that sex is not important. In fact, after being together for a long time, people start to get bored and do less or ignore things. That feeling will disappear.
He reminded that couples working together to enhance sex is a lifelong lesson!