[Love Wants Sex Series 297]From psychotherapy and partner communication, don’t let delayed ejaculation affect sexual happiness

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Transcript: Liang Yingxiu

(Kuala Lumpur News) As the name suggests, “delayed ejaculation” refers to a man who is unable to achieve ejaculation after a long period of sexual intercourse. They have no problem getting an erection, but when it comes to ejaculation, the semen just doesn’t come out for some reason.

When it comes to male sexual dysfunction,

The general focus will fall on the problem of erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation,

However, according to a research report,

1% to 4% of men face the problem of “delayed ejaculation”.

cause or drug side effect

Master Zeng Huansheng, a sexual counselor, pointed out that in the medical definition, if sexual intercourse fails to ejaculate for 30 minutes or more, it can be classified as a “delayed ejaculation” problem.

“But based on clinical experience, my definition is that a man’s sexual intercourse takes too long and makes his partner feel uncomfortable, which can basically be defined as delayed ejaculation.”

He explained that delayed ejaculation can be chronic or occasional. The so-called chronicity means that it has happened continuously for 1 or 2 years, and some people even face such problems from the beginning of sexual consciousness, first erection or sexual intercourse; while some people happen occasionally, For example, in 10 times of sex, only a few times the problem.

The cause of delayed ejaculation can be through the use of drugs, and there may be some side effects caused by long-term drugs or surgical treatment. Therefore, readers who have problems in this area are advised to consult and understand with a doctor first, right? The medicines I have taken for a long time have caused this problem. After the medical reasons are ruled out, if it is not a medical problem, it is likely to be a psychological problem.

Fonda has an orgasm and still hasn’t ejaculated

“There is no medicine to treat ‘delayed ejaculation’ in medicine. The reason is that this disease occurs relatively infrequently. As the research shows, only 1% to 4% of people will face this problem. So, more than Compared with other studies on male sexual dysfunction, there will be relatively few studies.

“So the general approach is to favor a kind of behavior towards people, especially when it comes to sexual behavior and thoughts.”

He pointed out that when the erection can last for a long time, I believe many men will say that they are very envious, right?

However, just think about it a little bit deeper, if you really have this opportunity, but you can’t achieve orgasm, is this what you want?

“For people with delayed ejaculation, sex can actually be difficult and it can take a toll on themselves and their partners.”

He said, let’s think about it, you need to spend a long time masturbating today, maybe half an hour to an hour, and other time allocations in your life will actually have an impact on this person; what about your partner? What kind of impact?

“That’s not to mention, what was originally a beautiful sex will become very painful. Over time, it may also cause a rift in the relationship.”

He gave an example, there is a couple, the husband has the problem of delayed ejaculation, what may happen is that during the sexual intercourse, the woman reaches the climax first, and the excitement period has passed, but the man continues to perform the thrusting action , At that time, the woman may have been bored, and even began to feel broken skin, dryness and pain, and she would definitely ask him frequently, when will it end.

“If they ejaculate in order to make the other party climax, they need to spend a lot of energy and time, and make various attempts to help the man ejaculate. This kind of sex will be very painful for the couple, and they will want to escape of.”

Going Nowhere to Avoid Sex

Sex is a very important part of the relationship between husband and wife. If this part is missing, both parties will feel very sorry, right? However, many men with delayed ejaculation have nowhere to turn for help. The only thing they can do is to avoid sex!

What happens in our heads when faced with delayed ejaculation, he explains? He will take everyone to try to understand this matter. Delayed ejaculation is actually the opposite of premature ejaculation. Premature ejaculation is because of being too sensitive to sexual stimulation. For example, a man ejaculates when he sees a woman’s naked body; therefore, delayed ejaculation is just the opposite. Stimulus sensitivity or sensitivity is lower than that of ordinary people.

“Because there is no way to take medicine clinically, we still need to take some ways to let myself enjoy sex or adapt myself to some physical conditions, so that this problem will not bother me or even my partner around me.”

no drug treatment

3 Mental Ways to Improve

Zeng Huansheng pointed out that although there is no medical treatment for delayed ejaculation, from the perspective of psychotherapy, he suggested that everyone might as well try the following solutions.

“Although there is currently no medicine to treat delayed ejaculation, I still recommend that friends who are troubled in this area seek medical assistance, do a physical examination first, understand their physical condition, and then see what the doctor says differently. “

From a psychotherapeutic perspective, he suggested the following three approaches:

First, reduce the frequency of masturbation or sex to increase sensitivity.

Imagine, when do we feel that a food is particularly delicious? That is, when we are hungry enough, we feel that the food is particularly delicious. Why? It is because when people are hungry, our body will be particularly sensitive.

As mentioned above, delayed ejaculation means that the sensitivity to sexual stimulation has decreased, so reducing the frequency of masturbation or sex will help improve the sensitivity of sex. Therefore, when having sex, a person usually spends 30 minutes, because the sensitivity is increased, so the time can be shortened slowly; just like our food, as long as you are hungry enough, you will feel that the food is delicious.

The second is to communicate more with your partner and let her know how to help you achieve pleasure faster.

But this needs to do a little “homework” in advance. Men with delayed ejaculation must understand their body sensitive zones, what kind of stimulation they usually like, and even some words that men want their partners to say, and how to respond Or what kind of clothes to wear, or what kind of preferences you have or even your usual sexual fantasies, which will make your brain more excited, etc. At this time, you might as well chat with your partner and do a good job in this part of sexual communication, so that your partner can cooperate You, increase sensitivity and achieve the effect of early ejaculation.

The third is to train concentration and do mindfulness exercises

The so-called mindfulness practice is to concentrate on the feeling of touch and sex, and the feeling of being stimulated by others, because there is a saying in sex therapy: the largest sexual organ is not actually between the legs, but lies in our body. head.

As long as our brains are focused enough, we can amplify this stimulation, which is absolutely helpful for early ejaculation and early orgasm.

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