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[Love requires sexual happiness series 348]Uncoordinated sexual desire and lack of communication are the secrets of men’s sex.

[Love requires sexual happiness series 348]Uncoordinated sexual desire and lack of communication are the secrets of men’s sex.


Transcript◆Liang Yingxiu

(Kuala Lumpur News) When it comes to men’s helplessness in communication between the sexes, it is necessary to talk about the communication between the sexes. Women often overlook it. In fact, men also have many unspeakable secrets during sex!

Having children does not necessarily mean you will have a happy sex life

In the clinical cases of sex counselor Zeng Huansheng, there are many cases of sexless marriages. In fact, most couples do not often communicate in this regard, even if they have given birth to children.

“When we all think that after giving birth to a child, their sex life should be good and happy, but we don’t know that this is not entirely true.”

He pointed out that unlike women, men’s sexual interest is often very clearly visible, that is, whether they can have an erection has become a very important indicator of whether a man has “sexual” interest.

In traditional values, men are actually given the role of leader in sex, and men should be brave. Some people even believe that the pressure for success or failure in sex will actually be on men.

He said that in one case, during consultation, he said that he had tried many methods, had many physical examinations, and took medicine, but there was no way to end it!

“In sex therapy, there is a very important saying. The biggest sexual habit of the body is not in our lower body, but in our head. So regarding this case, after asking about it, I found out that the person involved had a very Strong masculinist thinking dominates whether he can have an erection. I think boys need to take the initiative, but what kind of performance can satisfy girls? Men must have a very hard penis in many cases. Only an erect state can make women feel happy. With such a mentality, it is easy to cause anxiety.”

Advise partners to discuss each other’s sexual preferences

He strongly encourages everyone to discuss sex with their partners and suggests discussing each other’s sexual preferences. For example, especially discussing your sexual preferences with your partner? Can you let go of yourself?

In fact, if you only rely on yourself to have sex, you will be under a lot of pressure, and the result is doomed to fail. Real sex actually requires the other party to participate in the “doing”. If we let the other party also participate in the sex between the two parties, At that time, will there be less pressure on both parties at that time, and will it be easier to make love?

He pointed out that when discussing men’s second frustration in communication between the sexes, it is about masturbation.

In the one-to-one life of two sexes, in fact, most people know that under normal circumstances, men’s sexual needs are higher than women’s, because female sex is related to the menstrual cycle, usually after ovulation. , estrogen will slowly decrease, and sexual desire will also decrease accordingly; and because men do not have menstrual cycles, their sexual desire will be in a relatively stable state for a long time.

At this time, many partners will find that their sexual lives cannot satisfy each other, and their needs and paces will be different. In order to balance the disharmony in sexual desire, many men will choose to make up for it in their own way.

Solve it yourself but are afraid of being discovered by your partner

This situation may cause some unspeakable secrets. The reason is that the man is afraid that his partner will have negative thoughts about this kind of behavior, so he can only do it silently until his partner discovers it, and there will be emotional friction between the two parties. .

He said that men will be worried in this regard. There are several main thoughts. To put it simply, men will worry and say: “Will the female partner think that I would rather solve it myself instead of going to her?” or ” Will the female companion feel that she is not attractive enough? Not sexy enough? Can’t bring up her desires? Maybe she even cheats?”

“Or, some men may worry about their partner, thinking that she has already worked very hard, so why would the male partner want to solve it on his own? Could it be that his performance is not enough to satisfy the other party? But in fact, sexual relations require communication and coordination between both parties. Solved.”

As a sex therapist, in fact, many times, the sexual behavior of oneself and one’s partner is actually two different things. Therefore, he suggests that couples should use an open attitude to accept the fact that their partner has sexual needs.

“I’m not just talking about men here. In fact, women may also have uncoordinated sexual needs.

You must supplement yourself, and occasionally enjoy your own time.

It doesn’t necessarily mean that you don’t love the other person.

Therefore, it is recommended that everyone use this as a basis to communicate together.

They are more able to leave space for each other in a one-on-one relationship,

Let each other enjoy themselves and their relationship once in a while. “

Get rid of dirty and lustful thoughts

Sex should be cherished

Regarding the lack of novelty in sex, Zeng Huansheng often encountered some cases. Because sex has been the same for a long time, they eventually lost their “sexual” interest in each other.

Zeng Huansheng said, first of all, we must admit the fact that we will actually get tired of the same sex life. Thinking about it from another angle, it is because of the novelty that we have the motivation to make progress, right? Isn’t it human nature to want to do things better, pursue something more perfect, and be more complete?

Many people refuse to experiment with sex

“Sometimes men don’t want to bring it up because they are worried that their female partners will not be able to cooperate, so they choose to endure it silently or settle for the next best thing. Some men even start to indulge in the colorful world of the Internet. And when some men bravely bring it up, Can we do it differently? Try something new and different?'”

However, quarrels will really occur due to lack of understanding. Gradually, there will be less sex and the two will go further and further away.

This is a pity, because he has always believed that everyone is qualified to enjoy a happy and beautiful sex. Why are there still many people who are not willing to try sex during sex?

He said that many times it comes from our established impression that sex is very dirty and obscene. If we want to explore different tricks in our hearts, we may have high sexual needs and even use some negative labels, such as Only slutty people want to enjoy sex.

Replace negative thoughts with happy thoughts

In a one-on-one relationship, we are given a body. If we can enjoy sex, shouldn’t we cherish and be grateful even more, and then try different tastes of life with our partners?

Therefore, Zeng Huansheng strongly encourages everyone to enjoy sex and turn some negative thoughts such as dirty and lustful into happy thoughts such as ‘I am unique in the world, the only one who can play and explore with me’ , right in front of me! ‘

This is really so rare. Is there something that both sexes can do to improve their bodies and emotions to a higher level and have a deeper experience?



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