[Love and Sex Series 347]Emotional education for teenagers teaches children to fall in love happily and say goodbye properly

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Transcript◆Liang Yingxiu

(Kuala Lumpur News) Teenagers must first know that love is not just about sweet dates and beautiful roses, it also includes the possible financial pressure of buying cakes, the responsibility of supporting each other and understanding each other when getting along.

As parents, we need to emphasize to our teenagers that falling in love is a process of developing a relationship, not a simple whim; and that we need to invest time, money and energy in the relationship, and even require constant communication and coordination.

Encourage teenagers to express their feelings openly

In emotional education, sex educator Cai Xiuqin pointed out that as parents, we should encourage teenagers to express their feelings frankly, whether they are happy or troubled. Facing emotions and learning from them is the cornerstone of building a healthy love relationship; tell them , there is no right or wrong way to feel emotions, as long as you can understand and respect each other’s feelings, there are many ways to express love, and everyone has unique preferences and feelings.

“We can express love through words of affirmation, a sincere compliment,

A sincere thank you can express love clearly and warmly.

Can make the other person feel cared for and valued.

For example, you can tell the person you like:

“Every time I see your cheerful smile, I feel happy and energetic,

Thank you for making quality time with each other possible. “

She said that how to express love is an important way. By carefully arranging common activities and time together, and cultivating common interests, two people can experience happiness together, share life, and then build a deep relationship and shorten the distance between each other.

Teenagers should know that providing assistance and care is another way to express love. When the other person needs help, they can do their best to provide support, take care of psychological needs, and solve life challenges together.

“This kind of practical action of love can make each other’s feelings stronger; of course, physical contact is also a form of expressing love. On the premise of respecting the other party’s wishes, moderate intimate actions, such as holding hands, hugging, kissing, etc., can convey Express more direct and deeper emotions, but we must also emphasize with teenagers the concepts of respect and understanding, ensure that the other party is comfortable and at ease, stop immediately when rejected, and set physical boundaries with each other, and do not have any Unable to have responsible sex, lest sweet love turn into a heavy burden.”

She said that love is one of the most beautiful things in our lives, and through these diverse expressions, we can make love more vivid and profound!

Let teenagers face the sexual field calmly

Among the sexual challenges faced by teenagers emotionally, let us consider a point of view: “Are teenagers mature enough to engage in sexual behavior?” This is not only related to physical development issues, but also to their physical development. Are you mentally prepared and capable of handling more complex problems?

“Sex is an important and delicate aspect in love.” She said that it is necessary to patiently guide teenagers to understand sexual knowledge, discuss how to develop a responsible attitude, and abide by the principle of respecting others.

“Guide teenagers to imagine that when they are in love, they are walking into a mysterious sexual realm with their partners, just like a pair of adventurers about to explore an unknown territory. Before starting the adventure, they need to prepare maps and equipment to ensure the journey. safety.”

She said that when you are in love, understanding both parties’ sexual desires and bottom lines also ensures that the love journey goes smoothly. Key sexual knowledge is like an adventure manual, allowing teenagers to face the sexual field more calmly.

“Sex education is not only about yourself, but also about communication and tacit understanding with your partner. It emphasizes consent and respect for each other’s feelings, which are important elements in sexual relationships; listening to each other, expressing their needs, and creating a relationship full of understanding and A trusting communication space can make love relationships healthier and more fulfilling. In addition, teenagers must be made aware that happiness is not only achieved through sexual intercourse, but can also be experienced through other forms of psychological intimacy and satisfaction.”

Parents have a lot of room to think about understanding their children’s sexual needs rather than dismissing them as non-existent.

“As parents, we need to realize the fact that ‘most adults actually think that teenagers will not have sex’; this may be a kind of trust in them, or a misunderstanding of their parents’ knowledge of them. The fact is In some cases, teenagers may face sexual temptations, so parents need to be open to listening to their children and understanding their needs.”

Parents need to be the people their children talk to

She revealed that when a teenager faces a decision about sexual behavior, he needs to know that he can discuss it with his parents and that there may be pregnancy and disease prevention. This kind of support and companionship is what he needs most as he grows up.

Sex education should be a scientific and comprehensive education that requires the active participation of parents and can better provide assistance and support to their children through frank dialogue.

In summary, the emotional education of teenagers involves the principles of understanding and respecting others.

Love is a journey, not the end

Guide children to face emotional setbacks

In the emotional education of adolescents, the problem that everyone is a little afraid of is: breaking up.

For adolescent children, how should parents guide them out of emotional frustrations?

For teenagers, relationships are like a roller coaster, full of ups and downs and uncertainties; love is a journey rather than a destination, and different relationships may end in various forms.

Don’t get into a quarrel after a breakup

In addition to accompanying and guiding their teenage children, parents must face their personal feelings. Breaking up can trigger various emotions, including sadness, anger, helplessness or frustration. In fact, these emotions are normal. There is no need to suppress or be afraid to face your inner pain, because only through facing can you truly learn to grow.

Cai Xiuqin said that to help teenagers find a way to vent, it may be talking to friends or relatives, or it may be releasing their emotions in music or sports. Because in the emotional process, understanding your own emotions is the first step to solving the problem.

“In the process of breaking up,

Don’t get caught up in arguments and blame.

Avoid harsh words, and don’t speak ill of the other person.

This is more beneficial to both parties.

When we break up, we can say it frankly

‘We’re both good, we’re just not right for each other. ‘

This attitude is mutual respect,

Although we admit that love fails,

But I don’t feel inferior because of it,

Because love is not about who is right or wrong,

The question of who is good and who is bad;

It’s a question of who is more suitable for whom. “

She said that this kind of positive and mature expression can also help everyone understand that even if we break up, we are still valuable people, and can also alleviate the pain of breakup. Of course, what teenagers need to learn most is to take care of themselves and avoid harming themselves and others. This is also the most important topic for parents to teach their children to emphasize their self-worth after the emotional relationship comes to an end.

Don’t let feelings determine your self-worth

“Tell your children that self-worth is not determined by feelings. Everyone is so unique and precious. Don’t underestimate your own value just because a relationship ends. After a breakup, we must keep in mind our own uniqueness and continue to Improve yourself and find a lifestyle that is more suitable for you.”

She pointed out that breaking up is not a failure but a part of growth. Every breakup is a test of life and an opportunity for us to better understand the strengths and weaknesses of ourselves and others. No matter how we break up, it must be a painful process. However, through positive communication, honest face, no blaming and self-respect, teenagers can definitely get through this stage more maturely and rationally.

She hopes that in this new year, she will bless every young person to gain more wisdom and strength on the road to growth!

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