[Workplace Psychology]Colleagues are weird and restless?Understand traits, don’t discriminate, treat ADHD patients rationally

Articles: He Jingying (corporate coach), “Ming Pao”

(Hong Kong News) Therefore, you gradually feel disrespected and feel that they have no manners (manner). If he is a colleague, you can also stop responding and reduce communication; if it is a subordinate, you will criticize him for being “careless”, unruly, memoryless, unorganized, even lazy, and 3-minute hot without hesitation.

ADHD is taboo in the workplace

If it is a boss, you will have many complicated interpretations-he often asks and asks, is he trying to test you? Want you to change sides? With such confused thoughts and changing orders day and night, is he qualified to lead the team? But have you ever thought that these behaviors of the other party may be due to ADHD (attention disorder or hyperactivity disorder)?

In the workplace, some colleagues always reply to emails a few days late, but the replies are unclear, they do not make eye contact when speaking, their interpersonal and communication skills are low, and they tend to lose their temper easily. If they are highly accomplished in a certain technology, colleagues will think that he is conceited and withdrawn, and the boss will swallow his anger for love, but promotion is out of the question.

If he is a middle and low-level employee, everyone will think that he is useless, has no goals, has no motivation, or is obstinate, and he is a tasteless rib for the team. This type of person is often described as strange, difficult, messy, self-centered, and speculated that the motivation behind it is confrontational and self-righteous…but almost no one thinks that the other party may have ADHD.

All of the above mentioned may be ADHD symptoms, but of course, having the above problems does not mean that you have ADHD.

4 to 5% of adults have ADHD

“Their ‘weird’ behavior is not intentional, but an imbalance of the neurotransmitters dopamine and norepinephrine in the brain, which affects the brain’s control of impulsivity, hyperactivity and concentration. We dare not go to ADHD. The direction of the analysis of colleagues, the reason may be that their lack of understanding, or that it is a child’s disease, will disappear when they grow up.

ADHD is a taboo or stigma (stigma) in the workplace, for fear of being accused of discrimination and labeling colleagues. “

Looking back, I have met many “weird” colleagues in the past, and several of my subordinates have the following characteristics:

Restlessness (restlessness), I understood at the time as excessive restlessness, inability to think deeply, jumping to speak;

Lack of concentration (inattention), which I used to understand as absent-mindedness, trance, daydreaming (zoned out), forgetfulness;

Hyperactivity, I understand it as fast but not necessarily accurate, “walking back and forth” is very diligent and busy, but most of it is a waste of time, because the energy is spent on the wrong things;

Impulsivity, at that time I understood it as willing to do it but not having a detailed plan, and then counting after finishing it.

It is difficult for us to understand that they have worked for many years and still do not understand some basic communication skills, teamwork, social etiquette, and time management, so we naturally judge that the problem lies in personal cultivation, personality defects, EQ and IQ, etc. nuisance behavior.

You may not have imagined that adults also have ADHD. It is estimated that 4% to 5% of the population-it sounds very small, but there is always one nearby. If this possibility is not considered, all management methods will be in vain. Reasoning, persuasion, persuasion, giving feedback thoroughly and frankly, as well as carrots and sticks, the effect may make the other party more flustered, careless or wronged, and more full of mistakes and omissions.

Wandering around different topics and losing focus

I have a colleague who is energetic, enthusiastic, creative, good at dealing with people and things, and easy to get along with. I hope to promote him as my successor. Within a few months of joining the company, while showing his talents, he discovered many unexpected minor problems, which together affected his judgment and management ability.

In retrospect, he actually showed quite a few typical ADHD symptoms:

He has chronic procrastination for things that he is not interested in, especially the work that does not give him instant gratification (instant gratification);

He can definitely focus and concentrate on the things he is interested in, but he is so hyperfocused that he ignores other things and even forgets the time;

Very easily distractibility (distractibility), in addition to speaking very fast, will also lose focus when wandering between different topics;

He can distinguish priorities, but lacks self regulation (self regulation) to prioritize the first tasks;

He is also careless, saying what he thinks of, doing it when he thinks of it, and his subordinate resigns because he often changes his mind and forgets the decision he made yesterday. The workload of the team increased greatly, and teammates felt that it was unnecessary work brought about by the boss’s erratic and intuitive reactions, and lost confidence in him;

Frequent multitasking (multitasking), the truth is that many things are started but not finished;

His “hyperactivity” is not bouncing around his body, but hyperactivity of his head, with several thoughts bombarding him at the same moment. If he can calm and straighten out his thoughts, his ideas can be developed and executed.

taboo to intervene

If I had analyzed that the problems of my colleagues might be caused by ADHD, I would definitely have done it differently: First, I would understand that their mistakes are not necessarily intentional or a problem of ability. It may be that the brain operates differently, resulting in unique thinking patterns and behaviors, and a lack of emotional control. This reduces my feeling of being disrespected and offended, and increases my patience in helping him.

I can also break down the task into small ones, change from one big goal to several sub-goals, explain the logic and instructions to him in a simple and concise manner, and set deadlines by stage. I can also wait for the right time to talk to him about ADHD. A more prudent approach can be to hold lectures and invite experts to explain ADHD to raise everyone’s awareness, so that colleagues can learn to work with colleagues or work partners with ADHD, so that people who think they have symptoms colleagues can seek professional evaluation, diagnosis and treatment.

New friends I met in recent years are obviously troubled by ADHD. I understand their struggles closely, and gradually learn to intervene between taboo and advice.

There is a young man who has been diagnosed with ADHD since he was a child, but his parents have traditional misunderstandings about drugs, and they have not found a proper behavioral therapist. The process of growing up is quite rough. Inability to concentrate in class hinders normal learning. Most importantly, behavior and social skills are regarded as weird by peers, which seriously affects social interaction.

No matter how hard he tries to do something, he is still laughed at or scolded in the end. He didn’t understand what was wrong with him, his self-confidence was often hit, his self-image was low, and he had no friends who understood his frustration and helplessness. He began to suffer from depression in his teens, which exacerbated the already intense mood swings. I introduced him to a psychiatrist just as he wanted to give himself a chance to start over, taking medication according to the doctor’s instructions to deal with his depression and ADHD symptoms.

The drug took effect within two weeks, and gradually improved his concentration, which gave him more motivation to enter social work for more in-depth “root-fix” treatment-learning to communicate with others and adjusting values; with the support of his family, the changes in half a year It amazes everyone.

learning to modify behavior

Emotional support therapy changes

Whether we tell friends or colleagues, acquaintances or strangers whether they have ADHD or not, it is indeed a sensitive topic, because we don’t know whether the other person’s reaction is positive or negative, grateful or offended.

However, summoning up the courage to speak up at the right time not only brings hope to the person concerned, but also has a soothing effect on those around him who have already felt impatient.

When some people hear me mention ADHD, they will deny the problem at first, and then gradually accept it, and then go online or discuss it with friends to deepen their understanding. Some people feel relieved because after receiving a diagnosis, they find that there is a cure and a way out, and they see the light, and they no longer blame themselves or doubt whether they have mental problems.

There are also some people who will categorically deny it immediately. When I feel that the other party will stop talking if they don’t want to continue, I hope that he will slowly settle down, or when he encounters setbacks and shocks in time, I will think of ADHD as a possibility, and diagnosis and treatment are a way out.

Some people have gradually accepted that they have ADHD, but they still have outdated ideas about drugs or behavioral treatment. They think that only the exercise they love can produce dopamine. Some people use smoking, drinking, and risky sports as “substitutes”.

Choose to ignore those around you and “suffer”

Some people think that after living for so many years, they finally have a stable life, good social relationships, and a happy life, so why bother to find out if they have ADHD. When they don’t know or choose to ignore it, their relatives, friends and colleagues are actually “suffering”. To clean up the big and small messes caused by their carelessness, they have already given up giving them constructive feedback. Bounce away” to avoid communication, but everyone still complains or curses behind their backs, and the boss is always worried about whether they should be fired.

Some patients are willing to try new things

ADHD is a disorder or obstacle. Many patients are also creative or exploratory, willing to try new things, and are very successful in their strengths, such as Bill Gates, Richard Branson, Walt Disney, Jamie Oliver, and Michael Jordan.

I hope that patients can bravely face and embrace the challenges brought by ADHD, and let the pills and skills help them realize their potential more, rather than weaken their uniqueness. Drug treatment is like wearing glasses to restore vision to the eyes. But this can only prepare an environment for the client, give them hope to solve the problem, and does not tell them how to solve it. A behavior therapist or ADHD coach can help them learn to modify their behavior. Emotional support, such as understanding, tolerance and support from family and friends, is helpful for the treatment and change of the client.

A brain with ADHD has many challenges to deal with, but when it is identified, treated and managed, it is a brain with a unique perspective on the world.

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