[Love Wants Sex Series 309]The frequency of sex is wrong and the desire is worn out. It is the prime of life but zero sex

[Love Wants Sex Series 309]The frequency of sex is wrong and the desire is worn out. It is the prime of life but zero sex


Transcript: Liang Yingxiu

Sex is the most important part of married life, but many couples in their prime have handed in a blank paper—zero sexual happiness.

Don’t worry about whether the other party is having an affair or question whether you are no longer attractive. Indeed, the phenomenon of asexual couples is very common in modern society.

(Kuala Lumpur News) In the sex life of middle-aged couples, the biggest dissatisfaction is the frequency of sex between each other, and the trouble that one party wants but the other does not.

Make sex a routine

In the experience of sex educator Wu Qiming assisting cases, many of them came to see him with their partners.

“In the process of uncoordinated sexual life, it is often seen that one party is unable to openly discuss the attitude towards sex. It is not difficult to imagine that this person cannot let go or invest in the process, and he just regards it as ” “Routine” really regards sex as childbirth or family inheritance, so I am also thinking about how to let readers and friends learn more.”

He sorted out some factors that often wear down the sexual desire between partners to share with you.

The first point It’s about age and fitness.

As a person gets older, his physical strength will be poor, his mental state will not be very good, and he will get tired easily at night. If the two are obsessed with having sex at night, they will become mentally ill or unable to bear the physical load. This also leads to the problem of having sex on weekends; because there is no need to go to work the next day, this is a physical factor.

Second point The relationship is too close or distant.

If the relationship is too close, it means that they often work in the same place. During the day, there are many interactions at work, and this interaction may be tense. However, when they return home, it is difficult to escape that role.

In other words, the relationship between the two is too alienated, and there is no interaction at ordinary times. They only talk and chat when they get home, and then go to bed. They may speak less than 10 sentences a day, just like the relationship between modern parents and children. The first time I go back, I will ask my child: “Did you take a shower? Are you full? Have you done your homework?” After asking this kind of question, what happens? Is it equivalent to parent-child communication? In fact, it is wrong. Therefore, gradually the relationship between parents and children will be alienated.

Financial stress reduces libido

It’s the same with a relationship with a partner. When the partner returns home, he asks: “Is the meal cooked? Is the clothes ironed?” Then they are all asking about some things that are needed in life, and they don’t care about the other person’s psychological needs. For example, ask: How are you doing at work recently? Would you like to hear what the other person is doing at work? Or the situation of some interpersonal relationships between him and his partner, then this part will help the closeness of the relationship between husband and wife. When your relationship is happy, the sex situation between two people will improve.

Therefore, if the relationship between husband and wife is alienated or too close, it will cause one of them not to have sex.

Economic pressure is also a key point. Today, if a husband says that he is unemployed, his frequency of sex requests will usually decrease, and his sense of self-worth will be poor. If the family’s economy is in crisis, such as a lot of money owed to the bank or pressure to repay debts , the two people’s demand for intercourse will also be obliterated.

third point child factor.

After the child is born, it is the third party in the relationship between husband and wife. Both parties will focus on the child, such as his diaper is wet, feeding time, etc. At this time, everyone’s mental and physical strength will be exhausted, and they will not want to have sex; if After the child grows up, the parents start to pay attention to the care of his academic life, etc. Therefore, the two have no energy to take care of the sex part.

man firstsexjust givelike

He pointed out that when encountering the above situation, many women will almost give up sex first, and they will feel that this is not very important, and it doesn’t matter if they don’t want it.

“I want to emphasize that for men,

Sex is very important.

When you give up this is the most important thing for a man,

It becomes his desire to be dissatisfied,

When desire is dissatisfied, he will reduce it to you emotionally.

This is different from how women think,

They give you sex only when they get love;

And the male is that you didn’t give me sex,

My love is hard to give you! “

But if there is no expression of love in the relationship, you will start to suspect and distrust each other, and you will often suspect the other party, is there another woman or man outside? “Especially when I often see you swiping your phone and interacting with others? Is there something hiding from me for such frequent interactions?”

When there is suspicion, the couple’s sex life also starts off badly, and the person who is suspicious usually doesn’t want sex very much.

“Furthermore, the sensory stimulation is reduced. When you face the same person, it’s like eating the same dish every day. The part includes maybe a different cooking method, or a different plate arrangement today; similarly, sex is the same, there is exercise today, which can keep the body in good shape, which is not only attractive to oneself, but also Attraction to a partner, so I would like to especially advise readers and friends, never stop exercising.”

“Because you don’t exercise, then you gain weight and your physical fitness declines. Besides, your sense of self-worth is not good, and your partner has no desire for your body. Being with a partner is a good thing, as is sensual stimulation.”

“Let’s talk about your clothing changes. Pajamas are worn at night, and work clothes are worn at work. Can you make some changes at night? It doesn’t have to be just pajamas, you can wear other clothes to make your other half Or it’s good to have new feelings for yourself.”

feel bad don’t want sex

In addition to clothing, posture is also the same. Different postures will not only feel different physically, but also have different visual effects. Boys like to watch porn, and porn has different sensory stimuli. To catch a man is to catch his sight and hearing. As long as you can catch this part, then the interaction between the two of you can add points.

Then there is previous sexual experience and social and cultural experience. Some people may have been sexually assaulted or raped, or have a bad feeling about sex in past relationships, which can also lead to a sense of resistance to sex.

Furthermore, there is another one, which is inattentiveness after sex. The young partner is that he can come again after half an hour after sex, but the older he is, the impossible to come twice a night. why? Because physical recovery takes time. Some women will say: “Why did my husband come twice a night every night, but now he has to rest for two days once he has sex!”

In fact, it wasn’t that he didn’t want it on purpose, but that his physical strength really couldn’t recover.

The same goes for the sex environment. If you can’t change your partner, then change the place, or choose a safe environment when traveling and a place that is not too bad, such as hearing the voices of the next door. Otherwise, if you are worried that the next door will hear your movements, how can you relax? Choose a little hotel, and when the whole atmosphere feels different, the desire for sex will come automatically.


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