[Love Wants Sex Series 306]Precepts and deeds teach love to educate children in elementary school and don’t panic
Transcript: Liang Yingxiu
Modern children are getting more and more precocious, do fifth and sixth graders really understand what love is?
If one day, as a parent, you find that your child seems to have a sweetheart, don’t overreact.
Experts suggest that parents should not focus on the matter of “can a child fall in love”, so as not to disagree with the child and break the bridge of communication.
(Kuala Lumpur News) In the eyes of parents, a child will always be a child, even if he has grown to a height of 160 cm or even 180 cm!
Therefore, when a child falls in love, parents need to be prepared and adjust their mood.
Shaping the Talking Space Communication
Sex educator Zhang Baoyun said that once a child falls in love, as parents, parents first need to calm down, and don’t express opposition too quickly or rush to be the child’s love advisor.
“Parents can first create a space for conversation and have a good chat with their child. During the conversation, first tell the child, thank him for being willing to tell you about falling in love, and then discuss with him what is love.”
“Explain that being in love means that you and your loved one care about, understand and support each other, and hope that you can keep your promise and keep your love forever. Take a healthy look at this matter, even if you object in your heart.”
Of course, some children may not be willing to talk to their parents about the knot of love. At this time, parents can suggest that he find a trusted elder or adult to discuss, maybe he will not blindly invest in the current relationship, let the child know that before loving others, he must love himself first; when encountering an unhealthy relationship, he must learn to end it decisively.
“Sharing is also a kind of precept and deed. If parents tell their children that they have fallen, they will let them understand that love is a big learning in life. When parents share their experiences, they can explain love from the perspective of care, responsibility, respect and understanding. .The goal of sharing is to let children talk about why, not just reasoning.”
“Family, friendship and love are the three important elements of human emotional development. The best love education is teaching by precept and example. Children can slowly feel and shape their own values and views on marriage through the healthy love of their elders. “
It’s easy to be prepared to communicate
Recently, several primary school counselors invited Zhang Baoyun to the school to talk about love for the fifth and sixth graders.
The counselor said that after receiving a complaint from the head teacher of the fifth grade, some boys and girls actually fell in love in the class. The two of them got along really like a young couple. “, not long after, several couples of young lovers appeared in the class.
The homeroom teacher contacted the parents. At first, the parents felt that the child was still young and did not need to pay too much attention. Later, they found out that the child actually referred to each other as husband and wife, and hid in the room chatting all day long. At this time, the parents suddenly realized that , I really have to pay attention to this issue.
“Modern children are relatively precocious, and their physical growth runs ahead of their mental growth.
Generally, girls enter puberty at about 10 years old and boys at 12 years old. From a psychological point of view, it is normal for these adolescent children to be curious about the opposite sex and desire to fall in love.
So, parents with young children, are you all ready? “
Just imagine one day, when your child in primary school said to you: “Dad, I’m in love!” As a father, what is the first reaction? Think naive and ridiculous? Doesn’t matter? anger? Still worried? Your reaction is firmly against it? Still worried about having an intimate relationship too soon? Afraid your child will be hurt? Or is it conditional in favor of wholehearted blessing?
What kind of attitude should parents adopt when their children fall in love? The parent-child relationship of adolescent children is actually the fruit of the early parental relationship. If parents make preparations and preparations when the children are younger, it will not be so difficult to communicate and discuss when the children are in love.
Modern children are precocious
How to help children turn the love in adolescence into the nutrient of life? These questions require parents to prepare in advance.
“It’s not surprising that elementary school students fall in love.
Because modern children are affected by various factors,
Both mind and body are precocious.
Precocious children need more opportunities for education,
child reaches 5th or 6th grade,
Quasi-adolescents are curious about sex,
Self-identity and respect for gender,
This is a very important turning point. “
If a child is in the online world all day without proper guidance from parents and teachers, once he is faced with emotional or sexual curiosity, without proper handling, his personality will easily develop deviations.
Instead of worrying about the child’s normal development stage, it is better to give the child a clear guide. If parents understand that the child has entered a different stage, they will be more able to let go of the child’s change, know how to change their roles and attitudes, and give appropriate support. teach.
“For example, when children are in the circle of friends, they will go through different stages; generally speaking, adolescents will gradually enter the two stages of close friends of the same sex and group friends of the opposite sex; Over-emphasis, when friendship changes into love, it will be affected, and many children think that the appreciation of the opposite sex is love, and fall into the distinction between love and friendship, which is silly and unclear.”
So if parents can have a healthy attitude and know that children have different stages and needs in making friends, that’s great!
be mentally prepared
Teaching Love 5W1H
When children who are still in elementary school fall in love, the first reaction of parents is generally unacceptable and opposed to the end.
The reason for objection is that on the one hand, the child is still young, 11 or 12 years old is still an ignorant teenager, and falling in love will affect schoolwork and life; on the other hand, more parents do not know how to deal with it, so it is best Don’t let it happen.
Zhang Baoyun revealed that the things that children fall in love and adults worry about will not stop happening because of opposition and prohibition.
“When love comes, it can’t be stopped. The attitude of opposition and prohibition will only intensify the child’s push-off. Parents’ opposition, the child will secretly make the relationship so that only the child knows.”
Put it on the countertop to reduce the risk
In fact, parents should put the love under the table on the table, and the danger will be much reduced. There will be plenty of sexual adventures as the two sneak around.
She emphasized that the relationship between the sexes is one of the interpersonal relationships. As long as it is not limited to too close a relationship, every child needs to learn how to get along with the opposite sex.
At this time, the psychological preparation of parents is very important. The so-called psychological preparation is whether they have enough knowledge about love with their children. For example, what is love, children may be silly and unclear about friendship and love; The required conditions, such as whether the personality has been finalized? Is the ability to deal with the problem enough? Do you have the ability to be independent? Has the child learned to love and be loved? Have you learned to respect others? Because respect is always the premise of love.
“The 5 W’s and 1 H’s of being in love,
What is love (what)?
Why fall in love (why)?
Who is your suitable love object (who)?
Where to find the other half (where)?
When is the right time to fall in love (when)?
And how to love (How)?
fall in love,
It is actually a wonderful learning and experience! “