[Love is for happiness series 381]Giving together and satisfying each other to maintain the motivation for sexual happiness in marriage

Transcript: Liang Yingxiu

KUALA LUMPUR: It is true that marriage does come with its own set of challenges and responsibilities. For some couples, this may be the case, but it does not mean the end of the relationship or sex life.

Men and women have different sources of happiness

Sex counselor Wu Qiming said that everyone has different levels of happiness. If we put aside sex, are you happy in your life or work? People with similar jobs may do the same things, but their happiness varies. Some people may feel okay, and get 6 points out of 10 points; but some people feel very satisfied, saying that they can get 8 or 9 points. Therefore, everyone’s happiness varies from person to person.

The same is true for sex, because during sex, does your happiness come from simply the pleasure of the sexual organs of the two people in bed, or does it include the relationship between the two people before and after sex, and whether it makes people feel happy?

“For men, sex is about physical, direct sensory stimulation. When they like different people, there are different changes and patterns. This is very different from women who like romance and stable emotional relationships.”

“Men feel very satisfied and happy when they can make their partner orgasm. So if you ask them if they are happy during sex, they will intuitively use this point of view to make an assessment. But if you ask women the same question, their opinions will be completely opposite. They may tell men that they did not achieve the so-called greatest happiness or orgasm, but they felt satisfied during the process because the man cared about her, respected her, cared about her, loved her and was considerate of her feelings. Therefore, this part is the biggest source of happiness for women.”

He also advised men that after understanding this part, they must know very clearly that they don’t need to care about the length of time or whether their sexual organs are strong, because in the whole process, the ability of sexual organs is important, but what is more important is the part of communicating to the female partner.

Therefore, it is best for both parties to understand and adjust to their partner. For example, occasionally changing the location or making some changes to the bedroom can bring great stimulation and freshness to men, rather than keeping it the same.

Being considerate and gentle excites women

For women, men should pay attention to foreplay and let women feel their love and care in daily life. Thoughtfulness and tenderness are the source of women’s excitement.

He pointed out that the feeling of sex and love, transmitted to each other, is the biggest key to assessing whether both parties are happy or unhappy with sex. Unfortunately, many men do not know this part because they are brainwashed by many pornographic films and think that the louder the heroines in pornographic films scream, the happier they are. Men will think that the harder they work, the more excited and orgasmic she will be. This is a wrong myth.

“In pornographic films, the male and female protagonists are meant to arouse the audience’s desires, and the auditory effect must be enhanced. But in real life, we will never behave like this. If there are other people at home, including children, living together, it is even more impossible to behave like this!”

According to scientific research, the brain is a sexy area, and exercise can make the brain brighter. Exercise, walk, run, or swim with your partner. Both parties can participate, chat together, and cultivate feelings.

“Sexual activity actually requires a lot of physical strength.

Having a good exercise habit will also make you stronger.

I am interested in doing it. But don’t be too concerned about your body shape.

Research has found that 78% of women are dissatisfied with their body shape.

If you’re too concerned about your body, you won’t be able to enjoy sex properly.”

Having sex is more intimate

He suggested that if the two of them have nothing to do, they should hug and touch each other more. From physical contact without sexual desire, they will gradually develop sexual feelings. “Massage is also very good. Start by eliminating each other’s shoulder and neck pain and fatigue. Slowly, when both of them can relax and feel comfortable, they will naturally want to have further contact with each other. Every couple is different and has different sexual needs, but while they are still able to engage in sexual behavior, they should try their best to incorporate sex into their lives, because sex is still the best and most direct interaction between couples. Couples who have sex have a higher sense of intimacy and are more satisfied with their marriage.”

“Because in the process of sex, the source of pleasure, simply speaking, is the union of the sexual organs of two people. The pleasure at the moment, including the relationship between the two people before going to bed and the maintenance of the relationship after sex, these three are actually very closely related.”

“Sex is indeed a curious but doubtful thing in people’s minds, to the point that there is a social norm of ‘can do’ but ‘cannot talk about’. For some people with more open minds, sex is also a topic of conversation after dinner. But when faced with relevant issues, many people may not dare to speak up for various reasons, are ashamed to communicate with their partners, or seek professional advice and help.”

He emphasized that passion is the attraction between two people and the source of the romantic feeling in love. In addition to sexual attraction, passion also includes other primitive desires of human beings, such as dominance and obedience, dependence and care, and self-realization. The unique chemical reaction between each couple produces this “passion”.

Pursuing sex quality rather than posture

Sex is just a result, and love is the most important process. When it comes to sex, what we should pursue is the overall quality of the love life between couples, rather than just pursuing complex sex positions.

There is a gap between these two feelings between men and women. Men are always thinking about the current action that they value and whether there is any emotional flow.

For example, if men are only made to feel that what they need at the moment is only what women need, they will not be able to achieve happiness. But if women can be made happy, in fact, most men will be happy and satisfied.

“I have always emphasized that during sex, foreplay should not be limited to intercourse on the bed. It may take 5 to 30 minutes, but for women, foreplay can start earlier. This is the gap between men and women in sex.”

“Remember, if you really want a woman to feel greater pleasure during sex, men need to be more attentive, more considerate, and convey their feelings of love to the other person more beforehand, so that the other person feels cared for. This is very important.”

Starting from love

Achieve sexual harmony

Why do many people feel that they can no longer feel happy about sex after marriage or after knowing each other for a long time?

In fact, this is a very natural phenomenon, and how far the relationship goes downhill is something that both men and women can control.

Wu Qiming pointed out that just like our body functions, they will continue to decline. As we age, we have no way to control and prevent the body from aging. We can only rely on exercise and diet to slow down the decline of body functions.

I feel bored with being honest with each other every day.

The same is true in the process of sex. When two people are together and honest with each other every day, they will inevitably feel bored as the number of times they have sex increases.

He said that sexual satisfaction may affect the health and happiness of a relationship more than you might think. If you want to improve and achieve a harmonious sex life, you cannot rely solely on your own subjective will and guesswork, but need to communicate with your partner and practice, coordinate and cooperate with each other. Sexual behavior that is an extension of love is not only a physical and physiological combination, but also starts from love. It will make spiritual exchanges because it pays attention to the psychological needs of the other party.

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