Transcript: Liang Yingxiu
(Kuala Lumpur News) Facing adolescent children, what role should parents play? The so-called adolescence refers to children between the ages of 10 and 18. In the process of cultivating children to enter the adult world, parents can gradually lead them and bring their children to grow in a “fertile land” environment.
Develop a normal daily routine
Cai Fuhua, guidance director and sex educator, uses a farmer as a metaphor for parents. Farmers mainly provide enough sunlight, air, water and related nutrients. Just like parents, children must develop basic hygiene habits, a normal daily routine, balanced eating habits, regular exercise, etc. After these small habits are developed, they will naturally lead a normal life. developing children.
She pointed out that the average person’s sleep time is about 7 to 9 hours. When a person gets enough sleep, he will be in a good mood to face the challenges of the day; however, when a person does not sleep well, he will not be able to get up in the morning. If you have a bad temper, it will affect your mood, work and rest for the day, etc. Therefore, it is very important for your children to develop a good work and rest.
“My husband and I usually meet at 10:30 p.m.
Be sure to turn off the lights and go to bed at 11 o’clock at the latest.
Therefore, as children grow up,
The daily biological clock is also the same as that of us husband and wife.
But the formation of such good habits,
It takes time for children to adapt and get used to it. “
She said that in addition to playing the role of farmers, parents should actually guide their children in the process, provide them with nutrients, and let them grow up gradually.
As for the physical, mental and spiritual aspects, what role can parents play? To support or guide children. In adults’ lives, parents are their children’s guides and play an important role in learning, teaching, and helping them. In addition to correct values, they are also responsible for guiding and implementing their daily lives.
She said that the earlier the cardiotonic drug is injected into the child, which is the so-called “vaccination”, the child will be less vulnerable. For example, regarding the size of the breasts, she can clearly tell her daughter that size is not an issue, function is the most important. !
“Actually, no matter whether we have big or small breasts, we will not lose anything just because we lack a small piece of flesh. We are born like this, so we must accept and love ourselves. This way Confidence is very important for a girl.”
Leading different thinking directions
Cai Fuhua also shared a song. The general meaning of the lyrics is “If I look ugly, I will live long, I will be handsome, and everyone will love me. Even if I am an ugly person, I will still be positive and cute.”
She said that this song is quite interesting. In fact, it tells the story of many fat people who are very confident. When their children are unhappy or their friends laugh at them, can we use something like this? A song to help children accept themselves?
“This is very important. As a parent, you should let your children know that in fact, you have inherited your mother’s flesh, and there is no way to change it, but you have your mother’s unique inner beauty. It is unique to you, not your mother.”
“In daily life, children should be given different thinking directions. These psychological constructions will be through adults’ life experience and understanding, even reading more, listening to the radio, loving learning, etc. It will be subtle, like the size of the breasts. It’s not a problem, as long as your significant other loves you, doesn’t laugh at you, and truly accepts you from the bottom of his heart, he will love you for everything.”
Fake nobles accelerate their growth
Sex education is the best companion
In life, in addition to true noble people, there are also so-called false noble people. False noble people are those who give you frustration and look down on you. In fact, these people can make us grow up faster.
If it can be converted into nutrients for life growth, it will indeed be a driving force for the growth of children.
Cai Fuhua said that during the growth process of life, the development problems of men and women are somewhat different. For girls, the most common problems include breasts, menstruation, etc. They also begin to care about secondary sexual characteristics, and there will be some developmental phenomena such as In addition to menstruation, girls may also experience breast development or hair growth on their private parts; boys may experience masturbation or wet dreams.
Asking about sexual thoughts
Nowadays, many parents also do some sex education and enlightenment in advance, which is the best way to accompany them. Of course, some parents may find it difficult to talk about sex with their children, and it doesn’t matter, because in a parent-child relationship, being able to spend time with their children is the best and most important thing.
Of course, as a parent, I feel that if my child does not specifically mention these things, such as “I didn’t particularly hear my daughter say that her menstrual period is coming”, “She doesn’t know enough about menstrual periods.”, “I don’t know what my son knows about menstruation.” How much do you know about sexual behavior?” and “I don’t know how to talk to children about sex.” etc.
At this time, parents should take the initiative to ask their children to sit down and ask them their thoughts on sex, such as “What will happen to boys when they grow up?”, “Why do girls menstruate?”, “Although sex education is taught in schools, if there is still If you don’t understand, you can ask your parents questions.”
“Because I share a bath with my child, my daughter has been looking at my body since she was little. When she was little, she would ask her mother why she uses sanitary napkins? Mom, why are your breasts not flat? Then, like this Natural expressions provide children with sex education.”
Create opportunities to chat
What should a father do if he faces his son or finds it difficult to speak?
“Then give books to your children. There are many good books that can provide interactive parent-child reading for adults and children, or quote some news in life so that children can learn from it. Whether it is newspapers or listening to the radio , is also a great learning resource. Encourage your children to ask questions or learn more about topics they are interested in.”
In fact, there are so many things in life that can be talked about and promote parent-child relationships. When children have questions, parents will answer them. Whether it is a third-party material or an opportunity, they can create opportunities to have a happy conversation with their children. Of course, Parents should not assume a condescending attitude, as this will only drive their children further away.