Transcript: Liang Yingxiu
(Kuala Lumpur News) Couple dating has changed from a public place to a private space, and has developed from a group activity to when two people get along. When they are attracted to each other and are in love, they are likely to have further physical intimacy.
If physical close contact or sexual intercourse is against the other person’s will or there is even a feeling of being coerced or violated, what was originally a sweet and romantic date can instantly turn into a case of sexual assault. This is the so-called “date rape”!
Don’t compromise to please the other person
So how to avoid date rape? Sex educator Zhang Baoyun specially reminds male and female friends in relationships to pay attention to the following matters to reduce the occurrence of tragedies.
1. For the first date, avoid going alone or choosing a public place, and the time should not be too late. Even after multiple dates, the two should keep a safe distance and avoid excessive physical contact that may cause sexual impulses.
2. Clearly express your wishes. If you are unwilling, you are unwilling. Express it clearly and say no! Dating topics can be diverse, including sharing life details and talking about your inner anguish, but try not to involve sexual topics, let alone watch pornographic videos together.
3. Getting along and interacting with each other can make each other feel at ease. When the other party exceeds your acceptable range or displays inappropriate behavior, you must firmly refuse or advise, so that the other party clearly understands the boundaries of getting along with you. There should be no compromises to suit or please.
4. Avoid falling into the trap of sweetness and the myth of love: If you love me, give it to me! If he really loves you, he should know how to respect you. Everyone should be respected and have the right to say no. No one can force you to do something you don’t want to do. Don’t be afraid or forbear. Love yourself and protect yourself. Start.
5. Teenagers who are in love are easily lost in love and lack of thinking. A normal relationship requires both parties to think rationally and communicate, and adjust their relationship mode in a timely manner. The person who truly loves you will want you to be yourself healthily and happily, and the other person will also feel satisfied because of your happiness.
Dating is a beautiful and enjoyable thing, but we want to make sure it’s a safe date!
Dating is a necessary process of communication. It gives each other a chance to get to know each other and is conducive to the development of the relationship between the two parties.
Tell your family before going on a date
“Especially adolescents are full of curiosity about sex and longing for love.
Therefore, you should pay more attention to protect your own safety before, during and after a date.
Only in this way can the date become wonderful and safe. “
So how can safety come first? She said that before going for an appointment, you should let your family know, including who the date is. If it is a classmate or an acquaintance, you will feel more at ease, but if it is a stranger you meet for the first time, you should be doubly cautious. It is best to find one or two friends to accompany you on the date; the location should be in a public and bright place, such as a fast food restaurant or a coffee shop. Try to arrange the date during the day. If it is evening, remember to pay attention to the time and avoid going home too late. Of course, it is best to It’s good to be able to keep in touch with your family in real time.
Both parties must have a clear understanding of the date schedule; when dating, getting along and interacting should make each other feel at ease. When the other party shows inappropriate behavior, they must firmly refuse and let the other party clearly understand that they want to get along with you. You should not compromise in order to cooperate with or please the other party.
If you are hurt, be brave and ask for help
“When dating, try not to eat or drink food or drinks that are out of your sight. If you feel unwell after eating, you should tell your family as soon as possible. Dating with friends is inherently a pleasant thing, but you should be wary of others. It is essential. During the date, you must be vigilant at all times. For example, if the driving route becomes more and more remote, if you go to a nightclub after dinner, or if you are taken into a room or a closed space, if you find something wrong, you should leave immediately. Remember The more caution you have, the more peace of mind you will have.”
After dating, if you are hurt, you must decisively and bravely seek help from family and friends. All in all, dating teens should be vigilant and say no to uncomfortable situations or dangers! When dating, you should also think about each other’s safety and make the date a good memory.
Don’t reveal your personal information when dating online
During the epidemic, many people began to meet friends online. There is also a group of people who, after graduating from middle school or college, their social circle gradually shrinks, and it becomes more difficult to meet new friends or partners, so they have no choice but to meet friends of the opposite sex on dating apps.
Zhang Baoyun said that many people start dating online, but this does not mean that they do not need to pay attention to safety. Remember not to publish your real name, email, residential address, phone number, work location or any information related to your personal identity. Of course, you can choose whether to meet with netizens, but you must remain alert and have sound judgment.
“Of course, you must be responsible for your actions. If the other person keeps asking for your personal information, you should stop contacting him immediately.”
It is essential to be on guard against others
If you choose to go on a date with an online friend, remember to inform your family about the time you are going out and the approximate time you will return, and leave the name and contact number of the online friend; when you go out, please go to the date by yourself, which is a good and safe way; or When you are dating the other person, you find that the personal information provided by the other person is contradictory, including age, hobbies, body shape, marital status, major, employment status, etc., or you are unable to answer simple and clear questions directly, or you even find that you are in a relationship with him on the Internet. There are obvious differences in performance, so you must be extra careful.
During an intimate date, once you discover something that scares you, leave the scene as soon as possible. When you feel you are in danger, call the police as soon as possible. Personal safety is always the most important thing.
If this netizen has excellent qualities, don’t enter into an intimate relationship right away. You can first become friends and communicate more to get to know each other. In fact, no matter in the virtual or real world, you must be on guard against others. This will always be a golden jade to ensure your safety. Good words.
“During the MCO period, many friends started to meet online because everyone was virtual. But after we got along, we made appointments to meet.”
Don’t share a car when meeting for the first time
She reminded the sisters that when they meet for the first time, it is best not to share a car, because you really don’t know whether this person in real life is the same as the person on the Internet? If you want to meet, it is recommended that the girl first propose the date location, because this location is familiar to her, and then the girl can go there by herself without asking the other party to drive her.
When the other person is still a stranger, but seems to be a familiar person in life, in fact, we still need to protect ourselves, especially primary school students. We must not meet alone with netizens. This safety is the most basic. If you want to meet with netizens , I took my parents there and invited the other person’s parents to come with me.
“Because we really don’t know if this person online is the person we know. Of course, this date does not mean falling in love. If you really think this person is the ideal partner, then extend the time to three months. You will enter another stage later or half a year later; this is to set a safe boundary for yourself.”