【Love Wants Sex Series 313】Establish a close parent-child relationship and accompany children to deal with school bullying
Transcript: Liang Yingxiu
(Kuala Lumpur News) Youth is the purest and most beautiful time for children. However, school bullying incidents often occur, which have a negative impact on children’s growth. How is bullying?
As teachers and parents, we have the responsibility to help children understand what bullying is, and teach them how to protect themselves. Let us say no to bullying together!
6 categories including language sociability
Cai Fuhua, counseling director and sex educator, discusses it in three parts:
First, let’s understand what is bullying? What is bullying?
Second, how to help children face bullying?
Third, what are the methods and strategies to prevent bullying?
“Bullying is Bullying in English, it is also called bullying with ing,
But we often hear bullying now. We used to call it bullying, but now we call it bullying.
Bullying is a long-term, continuous and immediate occurrence,
And it is a psychological, physical or verbal attack on the individual,
And because of the rights between the bully and the victim;
Or his size and other factors are not equal,
Cause the victim to dare not, or be unable to resist effectively.
Therefore, the situation of a bully can be a person or a group, causing him to feel anger, pain, shame, embarrassment, fear, and even depression through physical and mental oppression of the victim.
Moreover, “it” doesn’t have to be all about physical bullying, it also includes verbal or interpersonal bullying! “
She said that bullying can be divided into 6 categories:
The first type is the most common physical bullying, including punching, kicking, slapping, even pushing and tripping, pulling your hair, teasing or spitting on you, etc. This is physical bullying;
The second and most common verbal bullying is slander, cursing, intimidation, threats, etc., such as taking the nickname “four-eyed boy” or “dwarf melon”, speaking foul language, spreading rumors about the victim, gossip, etc. These count.
The third type is interpersonal bullying, that is, social bullying. Squeeze out together, isolate each other, or spread false rumors, etc., especially when in group activities in school, deliberately refuse to be with the victim, or boo when the grades are better, and instigate to ignore someone together; blackmail him , Force people to buy food and ask everyone to eat together;
The fourth type is called sexual bullying. The part of sexual bullying is to make fun of others based on their body, gender, sexual orientation or sexual characteristics. Sexual bullying such as tomboy, she’s Tomboy or she’s lesbian”, “Boba milk tea is here”, “Let’s go see the big watermelon together”.
The fifth type is the counterattack type, which is rare, but he will fight back after being insulted for a long time, or he will bully weaker people;
The sixth type is cyberbullying, that is, using the anonymous features of the Internet to spread rumors, attack others, post indecent photos or short videos, etc.
Childhood enemies grow up to become husband and wife
Cai Fuhua often tells her classmates a story about a buck-toothed boy and a dinosaur girl that happened when she was in middle school.
In other words, this buck-toothed man looks a lot like the “Ya Chasu” in their once-in-a-lifetime movie. He has long buck teeth, and he hates a little fat girl in the class, so that little fat girl was taken away. Nicknamed “Dinosaur Girl”, who took it? It’s that “Yacasu”, because her figure is like an oil barrel!
One day, when the buck-toothed man was teasing Dinosaur Girl, Dinosaur Girl burst out angrily, “All the boys in the world are dead, and I don’t want to marry a boy like you!” Unconvinced, he continued, “The girls all over the world are dead, and I don’t want to marry a stinky woman like you!”
Time flies, and the person telling the story is actually Cai Fuhua’s middle school teacher. He said that one day he met this buck-toothed man in a market and asked him if he was married? The other party was embarrassed to say that they were married, and the one who followed was not the dinosaur girl from back then? This is the so-called happy friends!
Cai Fuhua told this story to her classmates, hoping that they would not speak too early, and the phenomenon of students starting to call themselves nicknames would be slightly less, not completely non-existent, but gradually less Some, are how we can help children cope with bullying.
Encourage children to make positive energy friends
How to help children cope with physical bullying?
“Adults must let their children know that when any unpleasant things happen, please tell dad or mom as soon as possible, let us face it together!”
If a relatively close parent-child relationship can be established at ordinary times, many times the child will tell the parents first. When we often let the child know that the one who hits someone first is a mistake, a big mistake, and usually they will say the same: “He was the one who said it to me first! Can’t he talk back? Or fight?”
Therefore, as a parent, you must take the trouble to say: “It is a big mistake to hit someone first!”
“If you were really angry at that time, please put your hands in your trouser pockets, excuse yourself that I have to go to the toilet or urgent to urinate, turn around and leave the scene, then you can avoid unpleasant things from happening.”
“But sometimes, you will find that when there is a problem, he will go to his own rescuers, not necessarily to his parents. According to our understanding, the most common thing for teenagers to look for is not their parents, but their companions! Therefore, his circle of friends has It’s time to play a very important role.”
She believes that as an adult, you can pay attention to what kind of friends your child is in and whether they are the right people, instead of the crowd who eat melons, that is, the so-called accomplices or bystanders, and encourage children to make friends with good friends and positive energy. Friends, these trustworthy classmates are good friends who may help or give him a hand in the future.
Learn to respect others and protect yourself
Schools should teach students to be brave enough to ask for help
The school can actually do some publicity to let children know how to ask for help, because asking for help is not a shameful thing.
Because most of the children who are bullied do not have the courage to ask for help, students are encouraged to accompany the victim to relevant units such as the Student Affairs Office, the Guidance Office of the Discipline Office, or even the principal’s office for help.
“If the administrative unit of the school is not functioning, call some counseling center in the community for psychological counseling.”
It’s okay to be angry but don’t hurt yourself
Cai Fuhua pointed out that sometimes people cannot control their emotions. What can you do when you have emotions? You can try to say to your children in this way: “You can observe yourself more at ordinary times. Like when I am at home sometimes, when I feel that my eyes are about to be covered by anger, I will first remind myself and even tell my family that I am in a bad mood today, so please Don’t mess with me!”
“It is very important to be aware of your emotions, because anger is actually allowed, just don’t hurt others or yourself. In addition, you can take a deep breath at the moment, and then count down for 5 seconds, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, The slower the better.”
do you know? Everyone has emotions, emotions are to protect themselves, emotions are the natural response of human neural structure, we can repeat the following three sentences: I remind myself in life, everyone actually has emotions, emotions are to protect themselves, emotions It is a natural response of the human neural structure.
When I remind myself like this, maybe half of my anger will disappear, and I have to learn to filter what is right. As classmates, seniors, sisters or teachers, what can we do? It is very important to accompany them to seek empathy for help. When empathy is used, it is to prevent the other party from feeling that they are being criticized or accused.
Laughing at others equals ignorance
Take away the accusation first, for example: “I know you are sad, sad, sad, and wronged now. Don’t take what others scold you, pick it up and scold yourself again!”
Therefore, when talking to teenagers, invite them to practice empathy. Empathy is actually thinking from the standpoint of others and comparing hearts with others.
Cai Fuhua often tells her classmates that you don’t have to like someone, but you can’t bully them! Therefore, let us all reflect together, or take some actions, such as establishing a concept in life, that is to laugh at it is equal to ignorance, just like the size of our reproductive organs, it is not the problem but the function is the most important, but If you laughed, wouldn’t that be ignorance? Learn to respect others, and finally protect yourself!
In the end, she only used the words of Lin Yuqun from the 6th Super Avenue of Stars as encouragement. He said: “The best revenge is to live more successfully than those who bully you!”