【Love Wants Sex Series 308】Communication, Change and Adjustment to Save Middle-Aged Sex
Recalling the temptation of each other in the early days of their love, the two seem to be able to start a war directly with just one look; but as the relationship gets longer, the frequency of sweet words between the two seems to be getting lower and lower, and they no longer praise each other’s body and face!
What should middle-aged couples do if they don’t want to enter a sexless marriage?
(Kuala Lumpur News) The biggest dissatisfaction in the sexual life of couples is that the frequency of sex between each other is not right. One party wants and the other does not want it. This is the biggest contradiction and trouble. If both parties don’t want it, there is no problem, and the two of them can interact more emotionally, or hug and kiss more.
Men in their 20s to 30s have a strong sex drive
Wu Qiming, a sex educator, pointed out that older partners usually have less sexual behavior and more physical and emotional support, but if they are middle-aged, it is a big problem because they are very Teenage and middle-aged partners will completely refuse sex.
“There must be some factors to refuse sex. For example, he has no love for his partner or he lacks skills in the process of sex, or even bored, which will lead to him not wanting to continue to enjoy sex. Because sex is already for him. If it is no longer enjoyment, but pain or “work”, he will gradually stop having sex. That will affect the feelings of the other half.”
He reminded that sometimes it’s not the other half that causes unwanted sex, don’t blame all the factors on the other party or yourself!
“In the process of love between a man and a woman, age is a key factor that causes the frequency of the two to be unequal. For example, when a man is 20 to 30 years old, a man’s sexual impulse is very strong, so his excitement will soon disappear. Very strong, he will ask for a lot, that is to say, he may ejaculate, but half a day later or at night, he will come again. His recovery ability is very fast, but women are more shy in this part.”
“Women are less likely to be as open-minded as men, because in our culture, they will think that men should take the initiative in sex, and women should have some restraint, otherwise the other party will not Will cherish you.”
30 to 40 year old man’s sexual function declines
He said that this kind of myth must be broken. Men do not cherish their partners not because they only have sexual problems. Not to mention that only girls who are sexually reserved will be cherished by men.
“The sexual desire of a man aged 20 to 30 is not a big problem at this time, because he already feels sexual desire very quickly, so he will take the initiative; but it is different at the age of 31. During the 10 years between the age of 30 and 40, men The sexual function will decrease and begin to degenerate. Degeneration does not mean that there is no sexual desire overnight, but that the sexual desire gradually declines. But if he is in good physical condition, maintains healthy exercise habits and takes good care of his diet , then his libido declines slower and can be maintained well.”
He said that if the man often stays up late, eats irregularly or is overweight, these factors will lead to a rapid decline in his sexual function.
“Men are not like the early 20s and 30s,
He will pay more attention to the satisfaction of his desires,
But men in their 30s to 40s,
His control ability has been enhanced, and he will know how to take care of the woman’s feelings.
And women at this time are not as shy as they were in their 20s,
Men will know how to seek self-satisfaction,
This is the obvious gap between the two sides! “
men and womensexual frequencyBig difference
41 to 50 years oldmost incongruous
The frequency of sex between husband and wife is not right. When one party wants it but the other party does not, it is the biggest problem.
Wu Qiming pointed out that between the ages of 41 and 50, this is the most uncoordinated place between the sexes. Why? Because the ancients once said that a woman is like a wolf at 30 and a tiger at 40, which means that women at this age have a higher sexual demand in 20 years.
As mentioned before, a man’s sexual function begins to decline after the age of 30; when his desire declines at the age of 40, his focus will be on work, so he will not focus on his partner or family. But it’s not that there is no sexual desire at all, it’s just that it will be less.
Having sex too early Married soon out of tune
“However, in this process, women not only increase their desires, but also have needs for emotions, which often leads to inconsistencies between the two in their sexual lives. Therefore, after the age of 50, the situation returns to normal. As I just said, middle-aged couples don’t necessarily value sexual intercourse anymore.”
He said that two people in a husband and wife relationship, their feelings of intimacy, including physical contact and emotional mutual support, both parties must know that this is a physiological and psychological problem, and it does not necessarily come from which one of you does not love the other. Or which side ignored whom? Rather, it comes from an unbalanced interaction between two people.
“There is a very special phenomenon in our current society, that is, most people will get married after the age of 30, but it does not mean that their sex starts after the age of 30. Some couples start to be uncoordinated after half a year of marriage, because they had sex before marriage.”
He pointed out that in the part of sex life, both parties begin to feel bored, so when they come to the stage of marriage, they cannot be as harmonious as premarital sex.
In the early days after marriage, their sex life can be satisfied for a period of time, just like the period of passionate love; but some people may be uncoordinated and dissatisfied after three months or half a year of marriage. Therefore, we must pay attention to this. After the age of 30, if you already have another partner or you don’t want to have sex, you can imagine that the next 30 or 40 years will be very difficult.
Upbringing influences attitudes towards sex
He said that everyone’s growth background is different. What must be said is that for two people to have a very happy sex in a relationship, they really need to learn from each other, and they must constantly change and adjust. Why?
“Because of everyone’s growth background, your attitude towards sex will be different. If you are a woman or man who is not very enthusiastic about sex, the reason behind you is because you think sex is dirty or you used to There are some sexual experiences that make you resist sex; or your religion, what your parents have said, make you worry about it, these factors will cause you to be unable to let go well in the relationship You yourself, to enjoy the pleasure of the process.”
He reminded that if it is not the above factors, but other factors such as lack of love, then make adjustments in the relationship, but if it is your personal factor, it is up to you to break through.
Newly married for half a yearBut he is affectionate and resists his wife
Question 1.I am 31 years old, I don’t have any diseases, and I have just been married for half a year.
Since they were in a long-distance relationship before marriage, they can finally live together in the same city after marriage, and their daily interaction is also very good. However, I found myself resisting kissing and having sex with my partner.
In addition, when I meet other women, I feel sexual desire instead, what should I do?
Answer 1.You have just been married for half a year, but it was long-distance before, how long has your relationship lasted? Have you ever had sex before? What stage does intimacy develop into?
Recall from this question, what happened? Or these things are not necessarily on you and your partner, it may be caused by factors such as your life or work pressure.
The second is that you are very clear that you have no sexual desire for your partner but have desires for other women.
In fact, we sometimes see some characters have sexual impulses, which is a very natural phenomenon, but when he really appears in front of you, you may not feel it at all; for example, work pressure, then It is also a slight impact on this emotional impulse, so the first thing is to understand your changes in sexual desire, and what is the difference between before and after.